


Distraction

by VeronicaRich



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Danger, Established Relationship, Gen, Humor, Space Husbands
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-06
Updated: 2018-04-06
Packaged: 2019-04-19 02:27:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14227101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeronicaRich/pseuds/VeronicaRich
Summary: Reply to a meme prompt of “Can I open my eyes yet?” involving Lister and Rimmer, when Lister tries something foolhardy and too brave yet again. Originally posted to Tumblr; post-Series X.





	Distraction

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cazflibs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cazflibs/gifts).



Lister squeezed his lids together, furrowing the skin between his eyebrows, and tried to control his breathing. It was close and humid, and even if he were to look, he doubted he’d be able to see much beyond the condensation inside his helmet.

He didn’t want to look. He didn’t really want to, but he was also not a coward. He would face whatever was coming and try to be reasonable about it. It was his own fault, after all, for not tightening his line properly. Still, he asked permission. “Can I open my eyes yet?”

“I wouldn’t advise it,” his officious crewmate’s voice piped through the spacesuit’s audio system.

Lister began to breathe deeply, then halted mid-inhalation, remembering his suit’s limited oxygen tank. He swore softly. “I can’t-” he began, making fists in his oversized gloves. “I need a distraction.”

“I’m sort of busy here.” He didn’t miss the stress in Rimmer’s clipped voice. “I’m not exactly kicking back with popcorn.”

“Well, neither am I!” Lister barely missed hyperventilating and tried not to let a sob into his voice. “Arn. _Please_.”

It was quiet a moment - actually, nearly a moment, which was far too long for this sort of thing. Then, “Shadows grow so long before my eyes …” came through his speakers.

“Are-” He swallowed, finding his voice. “Are you singing?”

“I’m doing my best on worry and limited resources.”

“By singing an old prom song?”

“Don’t tell me; Ace sang it better?” The haughtiness fairly radiated through space from those legendary nostrils.

Lister couldn’t help the cracked laugh he expelled. “YOU were Ace too, you git.”

“And don’t you smegging forget it.” Rimmer cleared his throat and began the song again. When he got to “Baby, I love your way,” Lister couldn’t help humming along. At the end of the chorus came a pause from Rimmer, then a quiet, “I work alone, Listy,” laced with entirely too much suppressed humor.

“Sure, you won’t let me loose on my guitar, but YOU get to warble away.”

“Because I can actually carry a tune, miladdo.” Another pause. “Is that why you took the suit out without telling anyone? Is your Les Paul knockoff out there with you?”

“I told you, a passing asteroid hit the hull, sensors said it punched a hole. Was close to life support systems; I had to check it out after shift.”

“And you didn’t inform-”

“I thought it would take a half-hour, less, and I’d be right to bed! It wasn’t far from the bay door.”

“And yet here we are, you floating way the hell out there, and me having to try to reel your line in at a Venusian snail’s pace.”

Lister sighed, his eyes still shut as he felt the gentle, inexorable tug of the line being wound, pulling him closer back to _Red Dwarf’s_ safety. He could picture Rimmer’s angry face, which was usually put on to hide either laughter or extreme concern or panic. After all these years, the hologram was still doing his job of distracting Lister from his basest fears and worries. Instead of countering an argument, he hummed a bit, and started again with, “Baby, I love your way-” He trailed off, waiting.

A quiet pause, and then, “Wanna tell you I love your way/Wanna be with you night and day/Heyyyy eyyyy, I love your way/If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me?”

“There’s so many places I’ve got to see,” is where Lister came in again.

When they both got to “YOUR LOVE WON’T WAAAAAA-AAAAIT!” Lister heard a yowl from Rimmer’s end, cutting it about four “As” in. “What are you monkeys doing NOW? You’re louder than an alley full of cats in an eight-way!”

Rimmer didn’t yell, to Lister’s surprise. Instead, he heard him reply to Cat, “If you leave now, I’ll teach you your own song. Ready? Here you go: ‘This is the song that never ends/Yes, it goes on and on …”


End file.
